Movie Wisdom On Making Friends
10 Movies For The Lonely And Misunderstood
Image by Tumisu from Pixabay
Perfect friendship is the friendship of [wo]men who are good, and alike in virtue; for these wish well alike to each other qua [by virtue of being] good, and they are good themselves.
A good friend, it could be argued, is someone who is just like you in important ways. Practically, and at the very least, you must have something in common with another individual in order to find some common ground and enjoy each other’s company. If there is nothing in common, it’s pretty difficult to spend much time together, and without time, it’s basically impossible to build a relationship.
And what’s better than finding someone who gets you, who understands how you feel, who shares a similar sense of humor, or attitude about life? In other words, what’s better than finding another you?
Since the world is so large and so densely populated, it’s quite a paradox that some people out there feel alone, lonesome, or lonely. But it’s understandable when we recognize the complexities involved in making good friends:
First, you need to find some interests, some hobbies, some passions etc., so that you can contribute meaningfully to conversations. Meeting like-minded people then becomes very easy and very natural, since you can attend events (even virtual ones) where nearly everyone enjoys what you enjoy, and most will want to talk about it, or engage in some way.
But it turns out that it takes some work to discover these interests, hobbies, passions, etc. You have to try many new things to find out what you really love, and chances are a lot of what you try may not be satisfying. There is also quite a bit of effort and planning that is required in developing a hobby, or even in going out, exploring, and learning new things.
Could loneliness, then, simply be boredom, or (gasp!) laziness? That feeling of not fitting in, of not being understood—could it merely be the natural result of not finding an interest, or of not taking an interest in others? Note that on average most people have fewer friends than their friends have, a phenomenon known as the friendship paradox, which means that one is unlikely to be friends with someone who has very few friends. In other words, building a larger social network is essential to making friends.
And how does one build a larger social network? By taking an interest in others, or taking an interest in something and finding likeminded others who will then seem interesting.
Want more? Here then is a practical guide on how to find some new interests and make good friends illustrated by some fun movies:
Charlotte’s Web (1973) is an animated fantasy directed by Charles A. Nichols and Iwao Takamoto about the friendships that a small pig named Wilbur (Henry Gibson) makes while living on a farm, most notably with a girl, Fern Arable (Pamelyn Ferdin), a gosling, Jeffrey (Don Messick), and a spider, Charlotte A. Cavatica (Debbie Reynolds).
Life Lesson: You can be friends with anybody.
Wilbur: Oh, we’ve got lots in common where it really counts. Where it really counts, we’ve got large amounts. What we look like doesn’t count an ounce. We’ve got lots in common where it really counts. [..]
Charlotte: You’re born to swim and me to spin, but we both love this world we’re in. We share the sun, the Earth, the sky—and that’s the reason why.
Muriel’s Wedding (1994) is a coming of age comedy written and directed by P.J. Hogan about Muriel (Toni Collette), a bullied social outcast that runs away from her small hometown to live in the big city with a friend who helps her accept herself and mature into a more responsible and less self-centered adult.
Life Lesson: A good friend can make all the difference in your life.1
Muriel: When I lived in Porpoise Spit, I’d just stay in my room for hours and listen to ABBA songs. Sometimes I’d stay in there all day. Since I’ve met you and moved to Sydney, I haven’t listened to one ABBA song. That’s because now my life’s as good as an ABBA song. It’s as good as Dancing Queen.
Contact (1997) is a drama based on the book by Carl Sagan, and directed by Robert Zemeckis, about Ellie Arroway (Jodie Foster), a SETI astronomer who discovers a coded message in a radio signal that has instructions for building a transporter.
Life Lesson: Keep searching—you are not alone.
Alien [talking to Ellie]: You’re an interesting species. An interesting mix. You’re capable of such beautiful dreams and such horrible nightmares. You feel so lost, so cut off, so alone. Only you’re not. See, in all our searching, the only thing we found that makes the emptiness bearable is each other.
Trekkies (1997) is a humorous documentary by director Roger Nygard about fans of Star Trek, a long-running, multi-generational, science-fiction, television series.
Life Lesson: If you love something, you will find others out there who are just like you.
On Screen: “‘Trekkies’ are the only fans listed by name in the Oxford English Dictionary.”
Majel Barrett Roddenberry (Nurse Chapel): “If you go someplace, like into a convention, and you don’t have any friends there, you don’t know anybody there—you really do because they’re all thinking, somewhere along the line, they’re thinking like you are.”
Convention Attendee: “My family thinks I’m the odd one of the family. They think I’m totally weird, but I found this club, and I found out I’m not the only one. So I guess I’m not so weird after all.”
Stuck on You (2003) is a comedy directed by Bobby Farrelly and Peter Farrelly about conjoined twins, Bob (Matt Damon) and Walt (Greg Kinnear) Tenor, who travel from Martha’s Vineyard to L.A. in order to pursue an acting career.
Life Lesson: Find what you love to do most—and do it.
Walt: Whoa, whoa, whoa. I can’t believe I’m hearing this from you of all people. Hey, isn’t that what people told us our whole lives? That we couldn’t do what normal people did. Never stopped us before. … Three months: we go out there, we give it a try, we see how it works out. If it doesn’t, we come home, but at least I’ll be happy because I know that we tried.
Bob: Okay, Hollywood. But you’re going to owe me big time for this.
Air Guitar Nation (2006) is a documentary directed by Alexandra Lipsitz about the first U.S.A. competitors, C-Diddy (David S. Jung) and Björn Türoque (Dan Crane), entering the World Air Guitar Championship in Oulu, Finland, which has been held since 1996.
Life Lesson: Follow your passion even if others disapprove or don’t understand it. They will come around when you demonstrate skill.
David: “My parents totally, totally, got C-Diddy. They won’t ever say that he’s their son, but I think they like him. …Because of the air guitar, I think my parents have definitely become much more accepting of my decision to become an actor. I think they understand why I wanted to do this.”
Sydney White (2007) is a comedy loosely based on the story of Snow White and directed by Joe Nussbaum about Sydney White (Amanda Bynes), a freshman in college who tries to join the same sorority her mother belonged to, but instead finds herself targeted by the sorority president, Rachel Witchburn (Sara Paxton), for getting the attention of a charming fraternity president, Tyler Prince (Matt Long), and winds up with seven social outcasts as roommates.
Life Lesson: If you feel you don’t fit in, get to know other people better—especially other misfits.
Sydney: I have met so many great and interesting people here that I never would have met if I didn’t step out of my own little world. Before, all I wanted was to fit in. But I’ve learned that—that we’re all searching to fit in, and we, we all feel like outsiders, and we all do things and feel things that are bizarre and unconventional and dorky. We’re all dorks.
Yes Man (2008) is a comedy directed by Peyton Reed based on the book by Danny Wallace about Carl (Jim Carrey), a curmudgeonly bank loan officer who refrains from meaningfully interacting with other people until he attends a seminar run by Terrence Bundley (Terence Stamp) that teaches him to embrace new opportunities.
Life Lesson: You regret the things you haven’t done, not the things you have done.
Terrence: I want you to invite yes into your lives because it will RSVP ‘yes.’ When you say yes to things, you embrace the possible.
WALL-E (2008) is an animated fantasy co-written and directed by Andrew Stanton about a trash compactor robot, WALL-E (Ben Burtt), who falls in love with a highly advanced reconnoissance robot, EVE (Elissa Knight), and follows her onto the Axiom, a spaceship commanded by Captain B. McCrea (Jeff Garlin) that houses refugees sent to live in space by the BNL CEO (Fred Willard).
Life Lesson: Start living your life—do, engage, take charge.
Captain: Out there is our home. Home, Auto. And it’s in trouble. I can’t just sit here and—and do nothing. That’s all I’ve ever done. That’s all anyone on this blasted ship has ever done. Nothing!
Axiom’s Autopilot: On the Axiom, you will survive.
Captain: I don’t want to survive. I want to live.
Addicted to Life (Nuit de la Glisse) (2014) is a documentary written and directed by Thierry Donard about men around the world who seek extreme athletic challenges.
Life Lesson: Enjoy life—do things that make you feel alive.
Eric Deguil (kayak): “The limits on human ability don’t depend on build or technique, but on your mind. And the limit is your fear. Fear is what creates boundaries for a person. It determines if we can overcome something.”
“Friendship, according to Proust, is the negation of that irremediable solitude to which every human being is condemned.”
When you expand your horizons and become more open-minded, the world becomes even larger and a lot more fascinating. It is while on this path that you can meet some great people whose perspectives and experiences, although different from yours, somehow sync up and mirror your own. And this is one possible way to find a cherished, life-long friend. At the very least, finding new interests and joining others in play is certainly one way to stop feeling lonely or misunderstood.
Onward!
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If you only take away one Life Lesson from this article, let it be this one.
I'll have to check out Addicted to Life thanks for the article!
I truly enjoyed this and had forgotten that Debbie Reynolds was Charlotte. My trivia team thanks you.