Periodic Reminder That Life Is Unfair
And The Movies That Show You How To Make The Best Of It
Image by L.E. Wilson from RedBubble based on work by Mediamodifier from Pixabay
Life is not a matter of holding good cards, but of playing a poor hand well.
By now, you’ve probably experienced that epiphany, that realization that life is not fair. This news is bad enough, but what’s worse is being faced with a world that tries to make you believe otherwise, for there are people who benefit from the unfairness but want to pretend they do not so they can justify and maintain their advantages.
You’ve seen this many times before. That person who keeps getting promoted and rewarded even though by merit, achievement, ability, there are countless others more deserving. Why does this happen? Life is unfair. Those people who keep lying, blaming others for their own mistakes, incompetence, bad judgement, and who not only keep getting away with it but also get compensated for it. Why does that happen? Life is unfair. The opportunities that are advertised as open to anyone, but are actually restricted to closed groups of insiders. Why does this happen? Life is unfair.
And in all of these cases people in power who benefit from this unfairness try to deceptively obscure that fact by denying that there is anything unfair about, for example, one person constantly getting promoted over others while having no discernible justification nor giving a reason for it, or by letting a group of people become entitled and given privileges at the expense of others, or pretending that anyone can reach certain upper echelons of society when they really can’t.
But what can we do about it? Is this ever going to change? Of course not. Life is unfair. It just is. That is the core of existence. If it isn’t other people making life unfair, it is nature itself. Why are some people more intelligent, more attractive, more resilient, more loved, healthier, stronger? Life is unfair.
But so what?
Didn’t you ever notice that you can reach the good life anyway? So some people get shoved into success by some hidden mechanism that you don’t have access to. So what? There are a billion ways to find success, and some person getting unfair advantages does not have to block you in any way. The fact is that you can have a rich, healthy, successful life no matter how unfair the world is. In other words, it is within your power to make the best of life.
The following are a few movies that show you how to deal with being treated unfairly and how to reach a point where it is possible to nevertheless overcome these slings and arrows of outrageous fortune:
Have you ever been wrongly and unfairly accused of doing something you didn’t do? That’s the story of Richard Jewell (2019). Yet, this kind of existential trial can incite an inner strength that is capable of achieving victory and exoneration even if in the beginning the whole world is seemingly against you. It is as the Stoic philosopher Seneca put it, “constant misfortune brings this one blessing: to whom it always assails, it eventually fortifies.”
Richard Jewell (2019) is a drama directed by Clint Eastwood, based on an article in Vanity Fair magazine by Marie Brenner, about Richard Jewell (Paul Walter Hauser), a security guard who alerted law enforcement about a backpack containing three pipe bombs and helped evacuate the area at the 1996 Summer Olympics Games, thereby saving people’s lives, only to be falsely accused of the Centennial Olympic Park bombing after the FBI leaked their investigation to the media, which led a public humiliation campaign against him.
Life Lesson: Individual rights are threatened when the government and the media work together. “Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform (or pause and reflect).” — Mark Twain
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Perhaps you’ve experienced a time in your life where everything seemed to be unfairly and undeservedly going badly. If so, then the movie A Serious Man (2009) will feel familiar. Yet, this movie shows us that even in the middle of turmoil there are moments of joy, of discovery, of curiosity. The most important lesson, however, is to not let yourself sink to a point where your actions increase the level of unfairness in the world, because that will obviously just make things much worse for everyone.
A Serious Man (2009) is a drama written and directed by Joel and Ethan Coen about Larry Gopnik (Michael Stuhlbarg), a man searching for help with marital and professional problems, which happened to him even though he didn’t do anything.
Life Lesson: Even if you think life is meaningless and unfair, be a good person with integrity, because without it things will get even worse.
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Did you ever feel that the challenges and obstacles in your way were unfairly bigger and more difficult than what other people had to face? That’s certainly the backdrop in View from the Top (2003). But as this movie shows us, through hard work, determination, and creative problem solving, it will always be possible to achieve one’s goals.
View from the Top (2003) is a comedy directed by Bruno Barreto about Donna Jensen (Gwyneth Paltrow), a woman from a small town without many future prospects who follows the advice of an ex-flight attendant and motivational speaker, Sally Weston (Candice Bergen), to start a new life.
Life Lesson: Know that you are valuable, so don’t settle for less, even if others are trying to keep you down.
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The feeling of betrayal, of being deceived, of having the ground crumble underneath your feet is probably the most visceral representation of life being unfair. The movie The Wedding Singer (1998), tells of such a tale. And yet, as this movie and real life demonstrate, love, happiness, and fulfillment can be found even after a loss, so there is no reason to ever give up.
The Wedding Singer (1998) is a comedy directed by Frank Coraci about Robbie Hart (Adam Sandler), a struggling musician who finds out what true love is when he meets Julia Sullivan (Drew Barrymore), a waitress.
Life Lesson: Find someone to love who wants to grow old with you.
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Yet, of course life is unfair, and there are many things that we cannot ever control or change. Accepting our limitations and moving on to other challenges is part of life, and it’s what we learn from the movie Lucas (1986). But this isn’t a negative lesson. This isn’t about giving up. It’s about finding your limits, being proud of your attempts and gaining respect for yourself while facing reality.
Lucas (1986) is a coming of age drama written and directed by David Seltzer about Lucas (Corey Haim), a bookish, small-framed teen from the poor side of town who wants to win the affections of a classmate, Maggie (Kerri Green), by joining the school’s football team, while being oblivious to the affections of his friend, Rina (Winona Ryder).
Life Lesson: Just because you like someone does not mean they will like you back.
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And of course of all the unfair circumstances that you may find yourself in, few are as potentially deadly and horrific as being trapped in a war. This is the story of Casablanca (1942), which shows us a world where absolutely everything is unfair. Still, even in the darkest of times, there is love and hope and the chance to show our more noble selves, which are acts of courage that make life better for ourselves and others.
Casablanca (1942) is a drama directed by Michael Curtiz, based on the play, Everybody Comes to Rick’s, about a married couple, Ilsa Lund (Ingrid Bergman) and Victor Laszlo (Paul Henreid), who ask American businessman Rick Blaine (Humphrey Bogart) for help in escaping the Nazis in Morocco.
Life Lesson: Sometimes a situation calls for you to be the noble hero.
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Hopefully, you will be able to see that even though life is unfair, this does not prevent us from making the best of our circumstances and creating our own happiness. Staying positive will help in the face of adversity. Developing resilience is empowering. And despite the challenges and hardships we may face in life, we can nevertheless choose to be at peace with the world.
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I needed this today.
You're so right, life is unfair. If we focus on that, it seems even more unfair. By focusing on what we can control, physically, emotionally, and mentally, we can be happier.