Movie Wisdom On Parenting Children
Movie Wisdom On Parenting Children
How To Be A Better Parent According To 14 Family Movies
Image by TheOtherKev from Pixabay
Any new parent likely receives a ton of advice on raising a child. It’s all well-intentioned and meant to be helpful. It’s really an act of kindness and an offer of assistance. In that spirit, here are a few more recommendations for anyone out there who is open to suggestions: the Life Lessons gleamed from films that touch on the parent-child relationship. For the most part, these movies were created by parents, and the messages about how to interact with children, we can reasonably assume, were hard won and based on their own experiences.
One example of this is the story of the creation of the 2003 Pixar animated movie “Finding Nemo.” The core message of this film reflects writer/director Andrew Stanton’s attempt to teach himself how to be a better parent. Stanton noticed a negative tendency in himself that he believed probably did more harm than good, and searched for a way to change it. Specifically, “Finding Nemo” is a movie about the struggle against fear and overprotection that may result in limiting—rather than expanding—the world for children.
Finding Nemo (2003) is an animated fantasy co-written and co-directed by Andrew Stanton about a clownfish father, Marlin (Albert Brooks), and the journey he takes to rescue his captured son, Nemo (Alexander Gould), with the help of a forgetful regal blue tang, Dory (Ellen DeGeneres).
Life Lesson: Don’t always fear the worst; it prevents you from being free to enjoy life.
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Here is an excerpt from the article “'Finding Nemo' Turns 10: 25 Things You Didn't Know About Pixar's Classic Fish Tale,” posted on May 30, 2013 by Gary Susman on moviefone.com:
Writer/director Andrew Stanton's inspirations for "Finding Nemo" were a childhood memory of a fish tank in a dentist's office and a visit to the Six Flags Marine World park with his five-year-old son. As the "Toy Story" and "Monsters, Inc." creator recalled in an interview at the time of "Nemo"'s release:
"When my son was five, I remember taking him to the park. I had been working long hours and felt guilty about not spending enough time with him. As we were walking, I was experiencing all this pent up emotion and thinking 'I-miss-you, I-miss-you,' but I spent the whole walk going, 'Don't touch that. Don't do that. You're gonna fall in there.' And there was this third-party voice in my head saying 'You're completely wasting the entire moment that you've got with your son right now.' I became obsessed with this premise that fear can deny a good father from being one. With that revelation, all the pieces fell into place and we ended up with our story.”
Fear, anxiety, catastrophizing—imagining the worst possible outcome and cowering or hiding—are all terrible emotions to feel, and this is also a poignantly tragic way to go through life. But worse still may be instilling this kind of worry and apprehension in children. This is just one lesson from one movie.
Here are a few other Life Lessons that may help parents, or even those who need to find a way to parent themselves (be their own parent) because they did not get, or are not getting, the parental attention they need. These movies all feature meaningful interactions between parents and their children and/or powerful lessons learned by the parents or the children:
Mary Poppins (1964) is a fantasy directed by Robert Stevenson, based on the book by P.L. Travers, about a magical nanny, Mary Poppins (Julie Andrews), and a chimney sweep, Bert (Dick Van Dyke), who help out the Banks family in London.
Life Lesson: Don’t be so absorbed in routine that you miss the wonders around you.
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The Little Mermaid (1989) is a fantasy co-written and co-directed by Ron Clements and John Musker, based on the story by Hans Christian Andersen, about Ariel (Jodi Benson), a young mermaid who wishes to be human.
Life Lesson: Give children the freedom to be themselves.
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Steel Magnolias (1989) is a drama directed by Herbert Ross based on the play by Robert Harling about a group of women friends in Louisiana who gather regularly at Truvy’s (Dolly Parton) beauty parlor: M’Lynn (Sally Field) and her daughter Shelby (Julia Roberts), Ouiser (Shirley MacLaine), Clairee (Olympia Dukakis) and Truvy’s assistant Annelle (Daryl Hannah).
Life Lesson: Life goes on—you can get through all disappointments.
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Mermaids (1990) is a comedic drama based on the novel by Patty Dann and directed by Richard Benjamin about the family struggles of Charlotte (Winona Ryder), a 15-year-old whose single mother, Mrs. Rachel Flax (Cher), creates a lot of instability by moving the family frequently, 18 times in 15 years, after multiple failed romances.
Life Lesson: Children model what they see. They often learn and copy the behavior, good or bad, of their parents.
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The Joy Luck Club (1993) is a drama based on the book by Amy Tan and directed by Wayne Wang about the lives of four women friends — Suyuan (Kieu Chinh), Lindo (Tsai Chin), Ying-Ying (France Nuyen), An-Mei (Lisa Lu) — and their mothers and daughters.
Life Lesson: When someone loves you, they see the best in you.
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The Family Man (2000) is a drama directed by Brett Ratner about Jack Campbell (Nicolas Cage), a very successful and wealthy investment broker who gets a glimpse into the life he might have had had he made the decision to stay with his girlfriend, Kate Reynolds (Téa Leoni), thirteen years before, instead of remaining a bachelor.
Life Lesson: The choices you make have a lasting effect on the rest of your life.
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Lilo & Stitch (2002) is an animated fantasy co-written and co-directed by Chris Sanders and Dean DeBlois about Lilo (Daveigh Chase) and Nani (Tia Carrere), a lonely pair of sisters who adopt an unusual dog, Stitch (Chris Sanders), that turns out to be a fugitive from another world.
Life Lesson: “Family is what you make it.” —Marge Kennedy & Janet Spencer King
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The Incredibles (2004) is an animated fantasy written and directed by Brad Bird about the Parr family—Bob (Craig T. Nelson), Helen (Holly Hunter), Dash (Spencer Fox), Violet (Sarah Vowell) and Jack Jack (Eli Fucile, Maeve Andrews)—superheroes who are struggling to find their place in society.
Life Lesson: Find a healthy balance between work and life.
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Chicken Little (2005) is an animated fantasy co-written and directed by Mark Dindal about the difficulties undersized Chicken Little (Zach Braff) experiences when it looks like the sky is falling, but his father, Buck Cluck (Garry Marshall), and most in the community, do not believe him.
Life Lesson: “When all other means of communication fail, try words.” —Anonymous
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March of the Penguins (2005) is a documentary co-written and directed by Luc Jacquet about the annual back and forth 70-mile walk Emperor penguins take in order to find a mate and raise a baby chick in the harsh climate of Antarctica, where the average temperature is 58 degrees below 0.
Life Lesson: Life is a beautiful struggle—splendor and sadness co-exist for us all.
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You Again (2010) is a comedy directed by Andy Fickman about Marni (Kristen Bell), a woman who finds out that her older brother (James Wolk) is engaged to her high school bully (Odette Annable), and that their mother Gail (Jamie Lee Curtis) was best friends with her tormentor’s aunt Ramona (Sigourney Weaver), when they were in high school.
Life Lesson: People can forgive when they are given a sincere and remorseful apology.
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Hotel Transylvania (2012) is a fantasy directed by Genndy Tartakovsky about an overprotective father, Dracula (Adam Sandler), who builds a hidden castle to shield his daughter, Mavis (Selena Gomez), that also serves as a haven for monsters who want to be free from the threat of humans.
Life Lesson: Give children the freedom to live their own lives.
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Shazam! (2019) is a fantasy directed by David F. Sandberg about Billy Batson (Asher Angel), a boy who gains the powers of a superhero, Shazam (Zachary Levi), while searching for his family.
Life Lesson: “Where we love is home, home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts.” —Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr.
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Movies are a fountain of knowledge replete with teachable moments if we are receptive to learning from others. Even in an area as personal and individual as raising children, movies can provide some guidance in both what to do and what not to do. They are no substitute for a loving parent, of course. But hopefully this movie list will make life's journey a little bit easier for the children who benefit from the above movie wisdom.
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I love the idea of learning parenting skills from movies. So much more fun than reading the latest psychology book on how to raise your kids - those ideas change every 7 years!