A Funny Conversation In Two Parts: Two Movies For The Crazy Ones
Ready To Laugh: "The Treasure of the Sierra Madre" (1948)—Issue #1
Image by Alexas_Fotos from Pixabay
FADE IN:
EXTREME CLOSE UP—MAN’S MOUTH
A crotchety old man, Frank, is screaming at someone. As the dialogue progresses, PULL BACK to reveal the faces of the participants.
Frank: YOU THINK YOU’RE BETTER THAN ME???
Is that why you’re inviting me to your house, so you can show me how nice you have it and rub it in my face?Robin: It’s ok, you don’t have to come.
Frank: OH, SO NOW I’M NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOUR HOME???
You think I’m too low class, too dirty and filthy, to be invited into your pristine house?Robin: How about we meet at your place?
Frank: WHAT??? SO YOU CAN SIT THERE AND JUDGE ME, AND HOW I LIVE!
You just want to have something on me, find something I did wrong to tell your cocktail buddies, and then have a big old laugh at my expense.Robin: Ok, then, we can think of another place.
Frank: SO NOW MY HOUSE ISN’T GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU???
You can’t “honor it” with your “holy” presence? It’s too worthless to even cross its threshold?Robin: Would you like to choose?
Frank: SO YOU CAN BLAME ME FOR EVERYTHING THAT GOES WRONG?!
Yeah, sure. I know that’s what you want, then you don’t have to take any responsibility. You’ve just been leading me down this path so I make all the decisions.Robin: I choose the park.
Frank: NICE IDEA! YOU JUST WANT TO SEE ME ALL BITTEN UP BY MOSQUITOS AND SUNBURNED!
You know how uncomfortable the park is; I’ll be sneezing the whole time.Robin: How about your favorite restaurant?
Frank: HA! SO YOU CAN RILE ME UP AND EMBARRASS ME IN FRONT OF THE WAITRESS?!!
Then I won’t be able to show my face in there again. You never liked that place. You’ve always had it in for them, and only want to stop me from going!Robin: Should we go to a movie theater?
Frank: WHERE WE DON’T HAVE TO TALK? THAT’S REAL NORMAL, JUST SITTING THERE IN SILENCE!
That’s what you’ve wanted all along, to not have to listen to me so you can ignore me!Robin: Ok, I think I tried. I’ll say goodbye for now.
Frank: THIS IS WHY I NEED TO STAY OFF SOCIAL MEDIA––EVERYONE IS SUCH A JERK!!
WIDE—SPLIT SCREEN SHOT:
PULL BACK to reveal the two characters in different locations sitting at computer desks typing to each other. The dialogue heard/seen was a vocalization/dramatization of their online interaction.
FADE OUT:
Both characters get up and walk away from their computer desks.
Inspired By Current Events And Old Films
The strange and amusing (funny) dialogue above is symbolic of the rage found on social media, particularly when everything someone says is interpreted in the worst possible way, even when the interpretation is completely unhinged from reality. The dialogue was also inspired by a mad and hilarious scene in the movie, The Treasure of the Sierra Madre (1948), a drama written and directed by John Huston, based on the novel by B. Traven, about three Americans: Fred C. Dobbs (Humphrey Bogart), Curtin (Tim Holt), and Howard (Walter Huston), who search for gold in Mexico.
Curtin: No, Dobbs, I’m on the level with the old man, just as I’d be on the level with you if you weren’t here.
Dobbs: Get off your soapbox will ya. You only sound foolish out here in this wilderness. I know you for what you are. For a long time, I’ve had my suspicions about you. Now I know I’ve been right.
Curtin: What suspicions are you talking about?
Dobbs: Oh, you’re not putting anything over on me. I see right through you. For a long time you’ve had it in your mind to bump me off at the first good opportunity and bury me out here in the bush like a dog, so you could take not only the old man’s goods, but mine in the bargain. When you get to Durango safely you’ll have a big laugh won’t you, thinking how dumb the old man and I were. (Dobbs pulls a gun on Curtin.) You make another move towards me and I’ll pull the trigger. Now get your hands up, come on, get them up. Was I right, or was I? You and your Sunday school talk about protecting people’s goods. You! Go on, stand up and take it like a man. Come on, get up.
(Curtin tackles Dobbs.)Curtin: Let go of it (Curtin takes the gun away from Dobbs). The cards are dealt the other way now Dobbs.
Dobbs: Yeah.
Curtin: Now listen to me. Look, you’re all wrong. Not for a moment did ever I intend to rob you or do you any harm. Just like I said, I’d fight for you and yours, just the same as I’d fight for the old man’s.
Dobbs: If you really mean that, give me back my gun.
(Curtin returns Dobb’s gun, without the bullets.)
Dobbs: My pal. (sarcastic)
Curtin: Wouldn’t it be better the way things are to separate tomorrow, or even tonight?
Dobbs: That would suit you fine wouldn’t it?
Curtin: Why me more than you?
Dobbs: So you could fall on me from behind, sneak up and shoot me in the back.
Curtin: All right, I’ll go first.
Dobbs: And wait for me on the trail to ambush me?
Curtin: Why wouldn’t I do it right here and now if I meant to kill you?
Dobbs: I’ll tell you why, because you’re yellow. You haven’t nerve enough to pull the trigger while I’m looking you straight in the eye.
Curtin: If you think like that, there’s nothing to do but to tie you up every night.
The Thesis
What does it all mean? How can we do better?
The answer is found in the life lesson from a movie released over half a century later:
A Beautiful Mind (2001) is a drama based on the book by Sylvia Nasar and directed by Ron Howard about John Forbes Nash (Russell Crowe), a Nobel Prize-winning theoretical mathematician diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia.
Life Lesson:
Learn to tell the difference between what is real and what is only in your mind.
John Nash: Would I embarrass you? Yes, it is possible. You see, I– I am crazy. I take the newer medications, but I still see things that are not here. I just choose not to acknowledge them. Like a diet of the mind, I choose not to indulge in certain appetites. Like my appetite for patterns. Perhaps my appetite to imagine, and to dream.
The Antithesis
But please take heart gentle reader! Choosing "not to indulge in certain appetites" is only a suggestion. As a famous Apple Inc. advertisement once said:
"Here’s to the crazy ones:
The misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers––the round pegs in the square holes.
The ones who see things differently…
Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world––are the ones who do.”
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PULL BACK to reveal the two characters in different locations sitting at computer desks typing to each other. The dialogue heard/seen was a vocalization/dramatization of their online interaction. -I really enjoyed this, and it surprised me at the end. I also think it accurately represents the mentality that encourages certain brazen communications online.